Parents and Family

Rule #1 - Let them miss you.

Students will miss you. Whether it is verbalized or not, your student will miss having you around to talk to or remind them of daily life activities. Try not to bring up the topic of missing home and family. If you bring up the idea of being homesick, your student might desire to come home more frequently and miss out on becoming an independent student. If students feel homesick, they sometimes feel like coming home is a cure, but many times it is better if they work through those moments by staying on campus.

Rule #2 - Ask the right questions.

First-year students want to fit in and be perceived as cool. To maintain this coolness, they dislike having their personal lives interfered with. Though it is contradictory, students do enjoy having someone interested in their life still. Questions with some ulterior motives can make students put up their guard. Asking questions about what is going on around campus and the community to gain insight into their lives without prying will lead students to be more open later on with what is happening in their lives.

Rule #3 - Make your visits special.

Visiting campus is a great way for you to connect with your student on their turf. They like to show you where they hang out and even who they interact with. It is best to plan your visit in advance so your student can manage their schedule of studying and activities around your visit. Lots of times students enjoy having a meal out with their parents or going to the store to get a few essential items that are needed. Make sure these visits are not happening so frequently that students aren't able to create a social circle of their own or to partake in campus activities or study on weekends. Balancing will ensure great success for your student.

Rule #4 - They will change, and so will you.

When students go off to college, they will start to change. Sometimes this occurs quickly after they arrive, or slowly over their time at school. This change is not traditionally drastic, but can sometimes be startling. A student who might have had a few friends in high school might gain a large social circle. Or the student who had no interest in a particular subject before could find it makes for a perfect major. Underneath this new exterior, they still will maintain many qualities and attributes you sent them to college with.

While your student is figuring out who he or she is as a person, you are learning as well how to be without your student. Expect yourself to change some, too. You will learn how to interact with your student in new ways while also maintaining the bond you previously had.

Rule #5 - 90 percent-10 percent rule

A man named Harlan Cohen coined a philosophy called the "ten percent rule." He suggests that 90 percent of your student's days at school will be good ones; 10 percent will not be so good. When your student calls on one of the 10 percent days, they will unload their troubles on you to feel comforted. Many times your student will forget to call when good things happen, which leaves you feeling like their overall experience is unenjoyable. Remember 90 percent of the days are good ones, so be patient when there are bad ones. If you are concerned that there are more bad days than good ones, be sure to reach out to Academic and Student Services to see how they might help your student.

Rule #6 - Trust that you have raised them to make difficult decisions.

Over the years you have given your student many opportunities to make decisions on their own. When coming to college, they will still face these decisions but without the safety net of home. Trust your student to make decisions that are the best for them. During this time when students second-guess themselves much more than normal, they will need your support in their decision-making process. When they ask for advice, freely give them the knowledge you have gained. remind them and yourself that they will make the best decision possible and learn from their mistakes. Students will have times of indecision but with support and encouragement, they will thrive in their college environment.

Rule #7 - Let them create their own college story.

Students have seen and heard about many college experiences. Whether this is from the movies, friends, relatives, or you, there are many perceptions of the college experience. The best way for students to gain success is to let them create their own college story. Many times students will want to repeat a family member's college experience. Remind them to take this time to make their own K-State story and use the other stories as advice on what college can offer them.

Rule #8 - A full mailbox = A full heart.

For the first time, students have their own mailbox with their own key. At home, receiving mail was exciting yet pretty familiar. In college, it is even more exciting to receive mail in a place they call their own. Snail mail is not the only way to keep a special relationship with your student. Email is a powerful way to drop a note to your student and know it will find them in the midst of their school day. These nice surprises show that you care, yet are not being overly intrusive. Remember, students most likely will not write back. Expect some correspondence to not have a reply.

The following is a summary of emotions and experiences some students might face in their first year. The calendar of transition is provided as a way for you to anticipate what your student might encounter in his or her first year. As a result of reading this month-by-month resource, you might be able to anticipate concerns and provide more informed support and encouragement.

August

• Homesickness and feelings of insecurity are common.
• Sharing a room is a new experience.
• Initial adjustment to new academic environment and social life occurs.
• New and unfamiliar places and people seem overwhelming.
• Long distance relationships are navigated.

September

• For some, homesickness is more intense. For others, it fades.
• Roommate conflicts begin to surface.
• Some begin to feel disenchanted with college life, finding it isn’t what was originally envisioned.
• Academic reality arrives (long homework assignments, first quiz grades, test anxiety).
• Old study habits might not be working.

October

• Anticipate mid-term exams and grades.
• Some might feel a sense of loss and failure associated with grades.
• Struggle to handle social pressures of drinking, dating, sexual activity.
• If open option, may start to feel pressure to declare a major.
• Time management conflicts are a common concern.
• Expect some restlessness for a break or vacation.

November

• Pre-finals stress emerges.
• Academic pressure begins to rise due to procrastination or academic load is more demanding than expected.
• Student may focus efforts to maintain grades or make up for a rough start.
• Changes in weather, busy schedules, and poor eating habits make colds and sickness more likely.
• Depression and anxiety can increase.
• Financial concerns can emerge.
• Roommate conflicts may begin or intensify.

December

• Final exams may mean all-night studying and extra efforts to secure desired grades.
• Excitement builds for winter break and family time.
• Time management pressures are common due to academic demands and extracurricular responsibilities.
• Students worry about what it will be like back home for break.
• Some students may wonder if their major is right for them.

January

• Some students may experience homesickness.
• Relationships may have been strengthened or terminated over break.
• Stress associated with the new semester may appear.

February

• Students may feel pressure to keep up with schoolwork.
• Applications for many student organizations or leadership roles begin.
• Student may over-commit to student activities.
• Anxiety over relationships or lack thereof may surface.
• Planning for summer jobs or internships begins.

March

• Mid-term exams and mid-term grades are expected.
• Anticipation for spring break builds.
• Concern for summer jobs or internships continues.
• Questions about the fall semester—class schedules, confirming major, living options—surface.

April

• Stress and fatigue continue.
• Academic pressure builds as finals near.
• Pre-enrollment for the fall begins.
• Financial pressures may increase.
• Spring fever may cause concerns about focus, lack of significant other, etc.
• End of year banquets and student organization activities are scheduled.

May

• Finals week creates some feelings of stress and anxiety, followed by relief.
• Packing and moving are necessary for some.
• Students may feel excitement of reconnecting with old friends and sadness over leaving new friends.
• Concern builds over parents’ reaction to grades and moving home.
• If starting summer school, concerned about not taking a break.
• If starting a new job, concerned about learning the expectations.

Learn how to talk about alcohol with your student in this parent's guide to alcohol handbook.

• The Hate U Give, by Angie Thomas, 2017.
• 25 Ways to Make College Pay Off (Advice for Anxious Parents from a Professor Who's Seen it All), by Bill Coplin, 2007.
• College Admissions Together - It Takes a Family, by Steven Roy Goodman and Andrea Leiman, 2007.
• Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years, by Helen E. Johnson and Christine Schelhas-Miller, 2011.
• An Educated Choice: Advice for Parents of College Bound Students, by Frank A. Brock, 2006.
• The Happiest Kid on Campus: A Parent's Guide to the Very Best College Experience (for You and Your Child), by H. Cohen, 2010.
• I'll Miss You Too: An Off-to-College Guide for Parents and Students, by Margo E. Bane Woodacre, and Steffany Bane, 2006.
• Letting Go: A Parent's Guide to Understanding the College Years (fifth edition), by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger, 2009.
• What to Expect When Your Child Leaves for College: A Complete Guide for Parents, by M. Spohn, 2008.

Each academic year is divided into two 16-week semesters, with a summer session. Important dates on the academic calendar include enrollment dates, course withdraw dates, refund information, and dates when classes are not in session or the university is closed.

One of our primary goals is to identify students who may need support or assistance early and to intervene before the student is in crisis. Anyone can report a student of concern through the K-State Salina Division of Academic Success and Student Affairs.

All incoming mail addressed to hall residents is delivered Monday through Friday, except on holidays. U.S. mail distribution is regulated by federal policies. Campus mail is limited to official university communications. Your student’s mail will be delivered to their personal hall mailbox which can be accessed by their mailbox key. Loss of the mailbox key will result in a $25.00 charge to your students account.

The mailing address is:

Student name
Kansas State University Salina Residence Halls
2310 Centennial Rd.
Salina, KS, 67401

Students can access resources and services to help on their road to success.